I imagine we'll be sitting there, the smell of fall filling our senses as it dances in swirls about the air around us. Our feet childlike, dangling at the worn wooden edge. As the fallen leaves breeze past, the moon will cast its' nightlight across the ripples of the cool water below. Our legs swinging, barely skimming the lake with the tips of our toes. My heart will be engulfed in this magical and fearless knowing. I'll look over and fall in love every time that I catch his eyes locked in mine, with immense sincerity in his admiring gaze. I dream when found, this is how love will feel.
I've stepped back. I've listened, I've observed, I've inquired, I've discussed.
-> Love <-
Truth is, in a romantic sense, I've never known it. That's a bold statement coming from someone that has been in relationships most her life. I think that's why I know with all certainty I've never actually been in love. I have been in foolish comfort. I've been blindly in lust. I've existed in codependency. I've drowned in lack of self-worth.
So how could I ever write about what love is? To pretend I can even begin to understand it. Simple, because I know all the ways that love isn't. I've spent months writing this duality to its' first piece. I'd open the draft more to merely just re-read it, unearthing pure frustration each time at my sheer lack of inspired wisdom to add to anything. While I know that the concept, the emotion, the sincerity of one's experience of love will differ from each soul... I'm going to try and dive into what I really think love is, because I've found more times than I desired, that so many things can be masked as love when ultimately they're not. It leaves a heart broken, and a soul questioning how it can learn to recognize next time on the validity of what had felt so much like love when it wasn't.
What does a truly healthy relationship look like? I must ask afore, to forgive me as I'm sure to rabbithole more than once throughout this. I'll try to my keep my overly passionate thoughts organized ;)
Loving Yourself & Self-Worth
Profoundly, these two are the most vital fundamentals that must have a substantial existence in your life, to unequivocally be able to love another selflessly. To not only maintain that love, but grow a healthy relationship in which you contribute to each other's soul expansion.
So, what does it mean to love yourself?
To know your own self-worth?
I think where it begins, is knowing who you are. Authentically. Unapologetically. I think what many may not realize, is it's so far beyond that which is materialistic. It's light-years beyond your hobbies, your outward appearance, and alike. At the very core of your soul lie your instincts, fears, ambitions, vulnerabilities, scars, talents, strengths, temperament, values, and humility...
Beginning to know yourself, means slowing down in a world that so commonly thrives on fictitious gospels. To separate yourself from the outside and sit in silence with the conviction of facing your truthfulness, opening your mind to an awareness you've not yet ventured. For those of us that are heavily spiritual, our diction of it is "awakening". In our digitally dependent world, it's become increasingly too easy in finding agents which to numb ourselves.
Everyone's journey of discovering who they truly are, will vary vastly. The time-frame of their journey, the path in which they travel...it's different for everyone. Oh, the times are countless in which I've wished there were answers and clear guidance as to what exactly my paths were to take. Cruel irony as the universe would have it. I can say with certainty however, that reflection and self-awareness are crucial elements. When you know who you are, you know what you can offer, you'll know what boundaries are healthy for you, how you show up in the good and the bad, and so forth...then can you in able-body be whole and love yourself. Most importantly, you'll know what it is that you truly want in terms of love.
When you become present in life, you increase your self-knowledge.
Socrates is famously quoted for saying "To know thyself, is the beginning of wisdom".
I'm not yet to the point where I can brilliantly define it, but somehow when you finally realize who you are you'll finally know your soul, and then you'll realize your worth. It's truly one before the other. For me, knowing myself was when I found happiness in being able to express who I was at my very most core. I had learned what my desires were. I made better choices that brought me closer to my goals, and the inner completion of becoming who I was supposed to be. I became more patient and compassionate for those around me, because I found the sheer realization how each of us are beautifully and uniquely imperfect. Therefore, I started to live in a more unhindered manner. To more fearlessly explore versus being consumed by the ego driven and naive self-created turmoil of living day to day, and began to resist the nagging pressure to conform due to social pressure.
Each of us will stay the course of an endless journey, to which we'll constantly change and grow just as we're intended to in this life. A healthy mind, clear sight of who you are, who you want to be...you can't get distracted for very long by that which doesn't make you better, stronger, happier, and curious. This means you love who you are, who you're working towards becoming, and that you're only going to allow those in your life that contribute to, and uplift that energy...and you should never accept any less than.
So...
Reflection, and the practice of being present will lead to self-awareness. Therefore, leading to self-love and understanding of self-worth. To truly give of yourself authentically, and have the ability to love another as healthily as you can...these must at the least have begun to exist.
->Anatomy of Love <-
The "Thorns"
We're going to call these our "love nots" aka "thorns". As I mentioned earlier, it's next-to-near impossible to know what love is, if you can't recognize when it's not. Allow me to provide the added context that each of these I'm about to share clarity on, can occur at times even in the most healthy and prosperous relationships. When these do occur in those otherwise strong relationships, the couple will have the profound fortitude and emotional maturity to work through them.
Lust vs. Physical Attraction
Oh yeah, I'm going there. We're carnal creatures and as such, so many actions can be propelled by lust and/or physical attraction. Before I go off on my personal tangent about each and how they differ...
Science.
When I began to write this particular section, I happened upon intriguing research about Lust vs. Physical attraction.
Lust
“Feelings of lust are much more primal than feeling romantically attached to someone. Lust is driven by physical desire,” shares Dr. Noor. “So this initial burst of sexual desire happens when key regions of the brain are activated: the amygdala and hypothalamus. These are the regions that provoke the sex drive and release estrogen and androgen – vital hormones for libido.”
Attraction
“When you’re in an initial state of courtship, we may not even realize it, but our brains and bodies are analyzing the potential partner to see if they may be a match. We may be unconsciously secreting chemicals to communicate information surrounding our health – pheromones. It has been debated in the scientific community, but there is evidence that shows that human pheromones can play in a role in determining when and who you choose to reproduce with,” Dr. Noor says.
Those of you who know me abundantly well, can attest fairly zealously that when I originally read the line which speaks of "pheromones" and that "we unconsciously secrete chemicals"...I completely erupted into my trademark giggles. If you must know, yes I giggled when I read " you choose who to reproduce with" too. Whoever you are, reading this, don't act like you're not immature sometimes too. You can bet your tush, that the next man I go on a date with, I'm totally going to say that "I'm looking for someone to reproduce with". I'll start taking bets now on how fast he runs away.
I'll be honest as I try to identify and put it into words how I would define the difference between lust and attraction, I actually struggle a little. The first thing that I think of, is that very first emotion I feel towards a man that initially draws me to them. I can say in total confidence, at this stage in my life the initial for me personally isn't that of "lust". At least, I wouldn't categorize it as such.
Since my initial emotion and feelings are never that of lust, it's always attraction. We all have attributes that attract us to another. For me, I've found a man's build, stature, harnessed masculinity, energy that radiates about him, the sureness in his step... are all things I instantly sense and it's actually a bit intoxicating. Of course, given the chance to actually begin to know a man that's garnered my attention at first, from that stage it will become the discovery of his intelligence, humility, drive, emotion, self-awareness, kindness, and such. The attraction will either grow or decline as I learn more about those particular attributes.
One thing I would like to speak of as it can very much relate to differentiating attraction from lust, is my primary love language of touch. For those of you with the same primary love language, one may be inclined to believe that lust can exist in the early onsets of getting to know someone. Which in all honesty is true, and exact reason why your ability to focus on building and identifying the level of genuine attraction versus lust is so important. Instead, it's vital to hold physical touch sacred. Understandably we're human and even for myself there's been times certain levels of touch have happened too soon.
If you experience this, communicate it with the other. Set that boundary, and express the sincerity of your desire to first build the attraction between you two in all ways that allow you to foster a true connection. I promise when you take this path of resistance, when you do touch...it'll be so euphoric every bit of patience will be worth it. This is coming from a woman that is insanely sensual and passionate. Just trust me.
So let's talk solely about attraction. To me, it's that powerful mental and emotional draw that a particular person can create within you as I mentioned briefly above. That desire to get to know them on a much deeper level. You have this insatiable hunger to know their story, the way their mind works, what motivates and drives them, their hobbies and pastime pleasures, what evokes laughter from their core, what they dream to become and accomplish. As you begin to identify together the things to which you align similarly, or even admire in differences, that incredible thing called connection begins. This my beautiful souls, this is what leads to love.
Lust. It's when I walk past a snack in the gym and I give off those "baby making pheromones"...kidding!
In all seriousness, when I try to define lust it's really nothing more than that which is merely surface level. Purely limited to physical attraction. The desire to touch and feel someone, with no intention of attracting any type of depth from the interaction. Some may argue that lust is good to have, it's the sexual piece that's necessary in a relationship. However, I wouldn't call this part of a relationship "lust". Instead, it's that next level connection you get to experience as you adventure past the original attraction, and have actually fostered a foundation and effort of learning about each other on every other level...first.
For those of us hoping to find our "person", I think it's important to identify for ourselves what it means to be attracted to someone, and what that attraction is the precursor of action for.
Lack of Communication
Communication ultimately comes down to two people being willing to learn each other's style of how they communicate. Each comes into the relationship with different communication styles, even if some aspects of those styles may be similar. Each person will have their own preferences, and likely even have their expectations of how the other person should communicate. There's really no right or wrong way, it's more so about each person's willingness to be flexible and find common ground. The ideality here, is to make sure that your person feels heard and appreciated.
Once two people have grown in their level of comfort with each other, they can begin to have a solid basis in which they communicate and show up verbally with the other. I would note that as time progresses and stage or evolution of a relationship develops, it's fairly realistic to have the realization that each person in that relationship will individually evolve and grow. As in many facets of a relationship the two must evolve together and adapt in the way that they communicate .
So what happens when there's a lack of willingness to adapt to the other's style, and a lack communication in entirety? When one's pride takes over, and avoidance occurs? The harsh reality is that it will ultimately lead to much deeper issues. You can begin to feel misunderstood, and most simply stop trying. A power struggle ensues. The ability to speak without aggressive reaction ceases to exist. I think you get the idea.
It can take some serious vulnerability, and earnest desire to learning each other's communication styles. There's going to be plenty of misunderstandings, and misinterpreted moments of the other not "showing up". As long as both are willing and patient, each of these moments will be chances for you both to grow and learn.
Two awesome articles on this topic can be found here:
Overstepping Boundaries
Oh, boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries tie in perfectly with communication simply because, they need to be communicated. I've actually found this to be particularly challenging in the dating world at times. If one lacks the self-awareness to have established the need for their own discovered boundaries, it can turn a bit toxic and lead to a shit-ton of misunderstandings.
Boundaries are to be shared at their appropriate moments, and there's no schedule as to when the time is right. Trust your gut friends. Personally, it's typically the moments when the friendship between myself and whomever I'm dating has reached an appropriate time for us to discuss our "communication styles". I've discovered that this is actually a very real boundary for me to set, as my second love language just so happens to be "words of affirmation".
I'd like to preface what I'm about to say next, with a fact about myself that when I'm interested in someone they definitely feel it through my verbal communication. Which means, if I begin perceive their communication is beginning to wane, I'll mention that I've felt the energy shift and I'm feeling unwanted. Most times, I get an awesomely positive answer and we move forward.
Here's where the boundary comes in. I've obviously had men tell me that they're just horrible communicators. If they're fairly adamant this is a cemented trait of theirs, not soon after I'll friend-zone the guy. There's some moments of conversation in-between that will occur of course, but the final result will be just that. I move on. A boundary I've set for myself in relationships, is that a man has a communication style or love language of communication as I do. This isn't because a man that doesn't posses this is in the wrong, he's just not my person.
Boundaries are defined as the things that characterize what your engagement is in the relationship, from that of your partners. Each person is responsible for the following:
Your body
Words
Emotions
Attitudes
Values
Preferences
They may also include:
Time
Goals
Family
Friends
Past Lives
Financial
Overall Expectations
When you set boundaries either with a new person you're dating (when appropriate), or in a relationship you're helping to eliminate potential blame that could arise in the future. It'll define what you're to take responsibility for, and therefore allowing your partner to take their part in the responsibility.
I can't tell you how many times occurred that I was dating someone, and we both failed to set a boundary. We'd overstep each other's boundaries, and though the over-stepping was most likely accidental... it was SO destructive. Often if it's in the beginning stages of getting to know each other, assumptions will be made, and since you're both reasonably still learning to be vulnerable with the other...you'll eventually drift apart.
The cool part is that when you communicate your boundaries or find common ground on things you're both flexible with, your bond will become that much stronger and well-founded.
Deception & Manipulation
Gaslighting.
Ghosting.
There's even something now called "Ghostlighting". I can't make this shit up, that's now a real thing. I think what is hardest about deception and manipulation in dating and relationships is that when it does occur, you had originally started out as you always do. Both eagerly excited and hopeful about someone. Most of us see the best in people, and when we're focused more heavily on our ability be vulnerable, and ensuring that we're showing our interest to the other person, we're not yet focusing on how their behaving as much as we should.
People that emotionally manipulate others are pros. Often, especially in the beginning it's subtle. I was actually about 5 dates in with a guy this year, and legit every time I tried to set a boundary or suggest that we might be better just as friends, he'd have a tragic life event happen. He was quite literally attempting to guilt trip me into being accepting of his behavior, that wasn't in agreement to that which I seek from someone I'm giving my time to. Complete violation of boundaries I had set for myself in dating. At first I had thought quietly to myself "my hell", this guy has the worse luck of anyone I've ever met!
Eventually it dawned on me, and I was simply that much more annoyed. People like this typically have severe unresolved trauma, characteristics of narcissism, and even sociopath behavior. Their ultimate goal is to use the manipulation to control the other person, if the relationship is taking a direction or path that's undesirable to them, or simply not allowing them to be in complete control of the relationship direction.
Break patterns in which you tolerate unacceptable behavior of others,
which won't ever lead you to love.
"Wow", as I'm writing this I just had a massive "a-ha" moment of clarity. Excuse me as I actually tear up... Everything I ever want to be to someone, is kind and loving. When someone is taking me for granted as an error on my part, it's because of my past trauma. I find that I will second, third, and quadruple guess myself. I'll push my intuition aside as it screams for me to listen. Due to the fact that I never want to hurt anyone, I surely don't want to take prevent myself from being able to take someone at their genuine word, because of my past patterns. Especially when I work constantly on healing and feverishly disrupting past patterns.
An article I read in preparation of writing this section, quite literally said "they will create an imbalance of power by "sharing" their darkest secrets to make you feel special and therefore providing themselves with the premeditated opportunity to manipulate you in the future". The tears are more in gratitude, as I continue listening and trusting my intuition when so many times before I ignored it, because I didn't trust myself. Finally beginning to trust my intuition, my heart feels whole and my mind is clear. I've healed so much more of me, than I'm sometimes even aware of. Huge win for Manda'.
Here are some key traits and warning signs to look for if you feel you have someone that's emotionally manipulative:
They "overshare" telling you all their secrets and vulnerabilities
They always suggest being on "their turf"
They exaggerate vents to make themselves seem more vulnerable
They "inflict" knowledge on you
They make you feel guilty for expressing how you feel
They always say "they're only joking" when they're hurtfully sarcastic or rude
They refuse to take or acknowledge any accountability
and the most blaring sign of them all...They make you question your own SANITY.
There's a million different helpful resources out there in terms of how to handle someone like this. I'd suggest if you feel that this may be happening, to find those resources. I quite simply drop them on their ass.
Scarce Intimacy & Affection
When I wrote this title as a topic to cover, my mind totally went right to physical intimacy. I think this may actually be the case for most when intimacy is brought up. However, upon further research I found an article that was quite spectacular. It categorized intimacy into 5 different types.
The 5 types of intimacy are categorized as:
Physical
Emotional
Intellectual
Experiential
Spiritual
Read the article here - 5 Types of Intimacy
What I'm about to share is extremely vulnerable, but if I'm to uphold the purpose of my blog then I must. It was near the end of my last serious relationship, and if I close my eyes I can still feel the emotions that engulfed every bit of my being that night. My husband at the time was laying in bed ignoring me. Throughout the night I had tried to have a conversation about our failing relationship, and in 5 in a half years the only way he'd let me do so is by email.
Dead, fucking, serious.
I was over it, having endured years of it. He had verbally exploded on me earlier in the night when I tried to speak with him. Which was fairly damaging in itself as I'm NOT a fighter or an arguer. I was feeling unwanted, and I just wanted him to know so he could make me feel loved in the actual ways that I receive love. In reality, I had married someone with entirely different love languages than I, and I was nearing my final straw of sanity it seemed. So I sat there, on my knees in tears, my shoulders hunched forward as I just sobbed. I was pathetically begging for him to just speak with me in person. To no avail obviously.
He laid there in bed clicking through channels on the TV, blatantly ignoring me. Through tears, I was once again pleading with him, "I'm just asking that you hug me, hold my hand, and that I don't have to ask you to have sex with me". At this point, I was never told I was "beautiful". He never verbalized that he appreciated me. He could however, physically push me aside when he was annoyed. He could verbalize when he was dissatisfied with me. So in the ways that I felt love, he was only using them to defeat me.
He wasn't providing me the physical or emotional intimacies I needed to feel loved, and after years of trying to teach in an intellectually intimate way to him how we differed, and providing him love in the ways which he received...I left.
Relationships can exist without intimacy, but that is NOT the type of relationship I imagine that anyone's seeking or hoping for. Intimacy allows two people to build a bond, to feel secure knowing without question that they're appreciated and loved. Two people don't need to be identical, but in addition to loving themselves, the other must learn to love their person in the ways that they receive love.
I could further elaborate on this topic, but I seriously suggest reading that article I posted above. It's brilliant and complete of anything I could say.
Failing to Show Up
I feel like this phrase isn't really as wildly known as one would assume. Understanding what it means to "show up" for someone is quite the millennial and GenX term. If I was to define it as simply as I could, it would be the way in which someone is present in your company, and their ability to let their guard down while being and staying true authentically in their words and actions.
The capacity to pay attention to the present moment—or be with what is—without being judgmental or reactive is referred to as mindfulness or "being present".
"Being present provides you with a level of connection needed to truly embrace and recognize your love for another, and to also help remind you of the reasons in which you love this individual."
When you're present, engaging with either someone you're dating or in a relationship with you're exhibiting behavior that says "the time in which you're giving to me, means something to me". In order to build, maintain a connection, or bond with another, it requires for both to engage fully in conversation, thought, touch, laughter with each other.
I'm going to be fairly bold here and say the world we live in today, we're all consumed by life and inevitably the nuances of life absorb majority of our time. This means when we make the conscious decision to pursue someone and get to know them, our time we share with another is immensely valuable.
The most destructive action anyone can take, is to take that time you've given them for granted. It happens, and it happens a lot. In defense of the majority, I'm not entirely convinced that it happens so intentionally. I think that because so much of our lives are focused on doing and planning, being present is becoming a lost art.
My greatest advice here is when you're with another, you set the intention with yourself to be attentive to them. When you're apart, there's a genuine effort to let the other person know that they're on your mind and in your thoughts. I can't lay enough emphasis on the fact that this isn't something to be assumed. If you can focus on continuously bringing value to your growing friendship and learning about each other, it'll be hard to go wrong.
Expect the same from whomever you're pursuing. Communicate when and if appropriate. If they ultimately fail to show up, they're not your person and it's time to part ways.
Overcoming
Trauma, Triggers, and Walls
I swear everything ties back into communication. By our 30's we all inevitably have all 3 of these. Self-awareness comes into play here and in my personal opinion more significantly than anywhere else in our lives. If we're aware of what our trauma is, we'll understand what we can expect our triggers to be, and therefore we'll know when we're putting up walls.
Healing my past trauma, and learning my own triggers was likely the most fundamental aspect of becoming emotionally mature and available. I had to learn that my past was not my identity, nor who I was in terms of the woman I am, and furthermore the woman I am becoming.
Every person will handle these differently than another. I do believe wholeheartedly the compassion that comes from knowing that all of us deal with these, is a blissful relief. None of us are broken, nor are we scarred beyond being worthy of love or finding our person. We each are the powerfully strong result of a spirit that has learned from their trauma. For myself, I am a woman that has learned who she is, what she wants, and how to give love passionately without emotional predispositions or conditioned habits.
Since we all have experienced trauma, we can identify our triggers. As we date and move into relationships, we can be cognizant of what can cause our triggers to occur. When appropriate, which is typically when they occur for the first time, you can communicate this to the other. Your behavior here is key. You must control your reaction. Take a moment and step back from the situation, breathe, and formulate non-defensive words to describe what you're feeling. Find a way to identify ways in which to avoid triggers in the future.
It's terrifying sharing moments like these, because it requires the upmost vulnerability from ourselves. I can say in complete confidence that when you do share, as long as you've done so in the way I've suggested, you've shown up to the situation and emotions the best way you can. If what you do share doesn't go over well, the brilliant realism is that you can't control another. You can only show up as the best version of yourself.
Self Preservation
Oh, self-sabotaging you cruel bastard of a pattern to break. "I must protect myself, so I don't get hurt". My subconscious lives in the past, preventing me from being fully present in the now moment. "Mhm", some of you are thinking that everything I just said is so you.
In full transparency, there's definitely still moments I'll catch myself in self-preservation mode. It's usually the reaction to a trigger I've experienced. It can be far easier to read between the lines of situations, than it is to be fully vulnerable. When we've experienced the pain of a broken heart, we can become deathly afraid of experiencing that same crippling hurt in the future. Nonetheless, without full vulnerability you can't be authentic. You will automatically inhibit the potential of a true connection, because you're already creating the false narratives of how it could imminently fail.
Those of us that have experienced heartbreak, I like to think have the upper-hand over those who have not. Life has given us an opportunity to find courage and learn the ways in which to pick ourselves back up. This is instead of carrying past relationships baggage onto those you date in the future. You can use what you experienced to develop boundaries that can prevent the same mistakes that might have happened before.
"When we choose to live a mindful life, we choose to live fully in the present rather than dwelling in the past or in our plans for the future."
Attachment Styles
Read the book. The end.
Two Independent Souls
This is definitely the longest blog I've ever written, and even more astonishing is the fact that I started this back in May or June! I did my best to share what I've learned this last year, and write it for each of you in a way that you can use it to help you in your own lives and journeys.
I'm most excited for this final section, because it's the most important. The most meaningful.
There is no rule book on love, how to find it, how to keep it, when it's right, or when it's wrong. If we read everything in the our universal space, I'm sure it would likely just confuse us that much more. I think what it ultimately comes down to, is seeking the knowledge when it's pertinent to the path we're on in that particular moment. To seek that which will allow us to heal or discover, to take that next step in fully becoming who we're meant to be.
The best thing we can do is to find out who we are at a soul level. To discover our worth, our independence, the path to our purpose...
When you can finally find peace in solitude, doing the things that make you uniquely you...I think you can finally note that you've reached a space in which you're ready to allow love. A point in which your cup is already filled by you, and you're not seeking for another to do so. By no means do I think at this point it will be easy or without challenges, because life was never meant to be. Everything is meant to strengthen and teach us.
I've come to a point in my life that though I may have never known love before, when the times comes that we find each other my hearts going to know. Whenever I close my eyes, I know what he'll feel like. I know how my heart will be overcome by emotion when we're curled up, and he's holding me as if he never wants to let go.
He'll be the one, who sees me even when I can't show up. I'll see him better than he'll sometimes see himself. I'll be able to count on him to true to himself, and I'll know that when he says "he loves me", he'll have given me no reason to ever doubt. We'll forever be the other, that endless encourages to never give up, always seeking to become more. Two independent souls, aiding in the expansion of the other.
In conclusion, I wanted to provide insight on a few more topics I feel are crucial.
Love Languages
I shared a personal experience earlier in this blog, of how destructive it can be if two people with different love languages, don't communicate and agree upon their willingness to acknowledge and flourish together despite the differences.
I don't believe it's necessary for two to have identical love languages, but heaven's I think it can make a world of a difference. If you both give and receive love similarly, it's less to work through and creates more of a natural flow.
Soul Expansion
I truly believe that when two independent souls come together, it's a powerful unison that will allow both to expand in ways they never could alone. In ways physically and mentally, they will endlessly support in ways each differ and are alike. Combining knowledge and strength they've gained to enhance the ways in which they think, behave, and grow.
Transforming themselves individually and evolving a bond one couldn't think possible. Two soul working together to become the full versions of who they were meant to be in this life.
Enjoy the Journey
Learning to "enjoy the journey" encompasses so many of the topics I covered. Being present, embracing your authenticity, discovering yourself, finding the courage to strengthen in trials, learning to grow in adversity...
Every person you meet will teach you something you didn't know. In complete entirety, t's up to you to slow down and learn that which you're meant to. It could be traits you want in the person you give yourself to fully, or those that you don't. It could be to give you insight into things you were adamantly for, or against before your experience with them. It may be to find comfort in being vulnerable bravely with every person regardless of outcome. To learn new hobbies, or explore on new adventures. Everything is a blessing, you just have to brighten your mindset.
🤍Love Manda'
